Wednesday Woe with Wanda Worstwagger – Lopsided

in Entertaining nonsense and profound thought


By Wanda Worstwagger
Advice columnist (sort of)




Dear Wanda,

One of my feet is longer than the other. I feel self conscious and embarrassed when I go out in public. Do you know if there is a cure for my condition?



Dear Lopsided,

I’m kind of cranky today, so I’m not going to coddle you on this. No. I don’t know of a cure for one foot being longer than the other, or one boob being bigger than the other or one eye being bigger than the other. So either suck it up or get the tips of your toes cut off. And be glad you only have one penis.



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