You know I don’t get political or controversial here very often. I don’t like conflict, and flaming and hate mongering. My goal in life is mostly to make you laugh, to give you a few minutes away from this world in a place where the heroine is even more flawed than we are.

However, it’s also not often that I read a blog post that makes me cry. I got directed to Jane Devin’s Blog via Betty Fokker on Facebook.

Yes, I know that I tend to be overly empathetic, and those of you who know me well may know that one of my beloved cousins is gay – and has dealt with prejudice his entire adult life. A sweeter and more compassionate person you will never find. He should not have to deal with this kind of hate mongering either.  (For those of you who are wondering – I’m very fond of all my cousins. I come from the best family ever, a better group of crazy, fun, loving, diverse people you’ll ever find. Much like your families! I love all my people, not just the gay ones.)

Okay, back on track.  The first blog post of Devin’s I read was Being Gay in Tucson Hurts. She talks about driving down the street and seeing the huge line at the Chicken restaurant which shall forever remain unnamed, because they don’t deserve my publicity. It was so hurtful for her to see the many, many cars supporting anti-gay sentiment. And it made me weep.

Then I looked at the pictures Devin posted in a subsequent post: Here’s How I See It, and I thought, I have to speak out. I can’t let this go unremarked. I have a responsibility to speak out against hate mongering and mindless jumping on the wagon. (That wasn’t very eloquent, but you know what I mean. If you don’t, ask.)

And here is my question (which I will probably regret asking):

How is my cousin or Jane Devin or anyone else being gay harming you? Why does it matter to you if they are able to marry the one they love? So you believe that love should only exist between a man and a woman. Great. That’s fine. I’m not telling you what to believe. What I’m saying is that love DOES exist between women and women, men and men, men and women. That covers it, at least in regards to gender. If I’ve left anyone out, I apologize, it’s only due to ignorance and not because I don’t accept your right to love and be loved.

Back to you, Chicken Restaurant People:  Gay people are not hurting you. They are different than you are, yes. But look around there are lots of differences in the world. It makes for some lovely diversity. You are more like the “other” than you are different. Take a look at your DNA. Human wants, needs and desires are not that diverse. The basic requirements for life and happiness remain the same.

Please tell me: How are they hurting you? What right do you have to hurt them?

Disclaimer: I am not the most eloquent person in the world. If I’ve stated something in a way that is offensive to you, let me know. I may be willing to correct it when I understand your side of things. But then again, I may not. The only way to find out is to have a conversation with me.

Man, I hate conflict. I sure hope I don’t regret posting this. Wait. No. I had to post it. I have to stand against hate. It’s my moral responsibility.  Now I have to do my best to remain strong.

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{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }

Kate George August 9, 2012 at 10:24 am

Once again I’m in awe of your support, everyone. It’s lovely to come from a group of such warm, caring and compassionate people. And I mean my family, my friends and my internet buddies. All of you are excellent! Having you around makes it so much easier to not just act in a way that I believe is right, but also to speak out and let my opinions be heard. Thanks.


Julie August 9, 2012 at 5:27 am

Just catching up from Dan’s weekend. Beautifully spoken, Kewl Kate. We all need to stand up for what we believe in. For me, it’s human rights. No hate, no phobias, simply the love of our fellow man. (Unless that man/woman is an ignorant fucktard. Then I hate them.)


BarbN August 9, 2012 at 1:46 am

great post, thank you for saying it so beautifully.


Judie August 7, 2012 at 2:58 pm

You did a great job of expressing yourself.


oneoftheotherjennifers August 7, 2012 at 10:45 am

You are both good and brave, Kate. Nice post.


Skye August 6, 2012 at 11:54 am

Excellent post. As Dan Savage has said, homophobia begins to disappear the moment the homophobic person has a gay friend. It’s fear of The Other. The Other is never as human as we are, thus racism and all the other isms. If these people who say “I have gay friends” really had gay friends, they wouldn’t be against gay people, although they may still have their own pseudo-religious reasons against gay marriage. What gets me is that it IS a pseuodo-religious argument and has no right in our legal system. That, in itself, negates any justification against gay marriage. Marriage is a civil institution and should be treated as such.

As for the Chicken place, it pains me to no longer go there because I like their food. But it’s not good for me, so it’s best that I don’t go, now for more than one reason. But I live in Houston: their bottom line will not be affected here. They may have more of a problem in So. Cal. (where I saw some) and if they try to move into the Pacific NW. I’m not for legislation saying they can’t build there; I’m more for let them build and then just don’t go.


Delia August 6, 2012 at 11:47 am

What Becky said. 🙂 (Also, you should never regret standing up for what you think is right.)


Deborah Blake August 6, 2012 at 9:57 am

EXCELLENT post. I have had a number of gay friends throughout my life, and my beloved kid spent most of her adult life so far (she is 30) in gay or poly relationships. (She’s bi, and now leaning towards men…but I don’t care one way or the other, as long as she is happy.) She’s not hurting anyone either.

Thanks for your words in defense of all these folks.


KarenB August 6, 2012 at 9:51 am

You said it beautifully, Kate. I truly don’t comprehend that kind of hatred and bigotry either. How can love be a bad thing?


Becky August 6, 2012 at 4:28 am

Off the top of my head I can think of a dozen politicians, celebrities, and *religious leaders* who have done more to damage the institution of marriage than any gay couple ever could. It’s not about damaging marriage. It’s about ickyness. There are people who think that gay people are icky, and they are willing to do anything they have to, cling to one line out of a chapter of the bible they otherwise ignore, strip people of their dignity and human rights, attack them verbally, attack them physically, talk about incarcerating them in concentration camps, anything to not have to see or acknowledge this thing that makes them so uncomfortable– that some men love other men and that some women love other women. I truly don’t understand how this could be such a threatening concept to some people, but clearly it is.


Judy, Judy, Judy August 6, 2012 at 1:59 am

I think you expressed yourself just fine.
I’ve never understood it either. People say that gay marriage would ruin the ‘sanctity’ of their marriage. That is just not true. The only way legalizing gay marriage could effect straight married couples would be if your spouse suddenly divorced you to marry someone of the same sex. And if you are afraid of that happening – you’ve got bigger problems than gay marriages being legalized.
Thanks for taking a stand, Kate. I have a gay brother and he is one of the best people anyone could ever hope to meet. He deserves to marry his partner and that is all there is to it.


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