You guys all know how I am about titles, right? I have this whole post in my head about what the title should be like for the new Bree but I just can’t get myself to write it. I’m out of practice and my brain, which really can’t be trusted, is telling me that the people that read my blog for me are long gone. Not that I can blame any of you, I haven’t really been here in six months. But it’s daunting trying to get the energy up to win back my audience.
I’m having a lot of trouble with energy. Diabetes is kicking my ass. If I eat any amount of Carbs at all I just want to go to sleep. And if I’m not at work I do go to sleep. It’s amazing really. I can be really good at lunch – eat way under the carbs allowed – but one small cupcake will put me right to sleep. It’s the universe telling me I’ve eaten enough flour, sugar and fat to last me a lifetime.
Walking into work has been a trial as well. My legs feel like lead. It’s not so bad on the way home, maybe because I have a lot to think about. It seems to me that my cells are starved for fuel while my blood is carrying all those carbs around with no place to put them. I don’t know what the real biology is. But I live with Carb hounds (runners, they’re always looking for the next opportunity to carb load) and my workplace is full of food I shouldn’t eat. It’s a horrible combination. I’m fine if I’m semi-conscious, but if I’m lost in thought about something habit kicks in and I can eat all kinds of stuff I shouldn’t without even realizing it.
If I turn around and look in the snack cupboard (at home) I see Oreos, Cheez-its, tortilla chips, granola bars, cereals, ritz, potato chips, fritos, pretzels, triscuits. It’s obvious I don’t do the grocery shopping. There is fruit, also high in carbs but at least better than chips. Yogurt (high in carbs), cheese sticks – those I can eat as well as the almonds, peanuts and sunflower seeds. I won’t tell you what’s in the freezer. I try and eat the nuts rather than the snacks.
So there you go. Even a saint would have a hard time in this house. And I’m no saint.