I’ve been reading lately, and have read in the past that women are too nice. We smile when we want to growl, we let people walk over us, We give away our power and we should be teaching our daughters to be powerful, not nice.
I don’t think either of my daughters is in danger of being too nice. Ever. But that’s neither here nor there. They are a couple of tough cookies and more power to them.
I’m talking about me.
I like being nice. It works for me. I enjoy smiling at people and making their day just a little brighter. I don’t see my niceness as negative. It often gets me what I want because people are more willing to help someone who makes them feel good. And it’s not as if I’m spineless, it’s just that my spine is protected by layers of lovely squishiness.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that I don’t have to be hard and unyielding to be a powerful woman. I make my way in the world. I go for what I want. But I try not to step on people. I offer people a hand up. I smile. I like people, I don’t need to be barking at them to get my own way all the time.
I mean it’s okay to be powerful in a bitchy way, if that’s what floats your boat. You want to demand what’s rightfully yours? Go for it. I’m not judging you for how you want to live your life. But excuse me if I don’t want to sit next you you on the journey.
Being nice to people isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of compassion. And when I’m trying to make someone’s day a little happier I am not diminishing myself in any way. I am not weak. I’m not namby pamby. The power to spread goodwill should not be taken lightly.
I think the power to give is as important as the power to take. I know how to make things happen in my own life. (Well okay, maybe not financially so much.) I can push forward when I need to. I can build, create, drive onward. But I can also spread warmth. Give away a little happiness. Bring light to the darkness.
And I’m not about to give that away because someone else sees kindness as being weak. Not all strong women look or act the same, and you may not recognize it, but I am a feminist.