This is totally unfair, coming out of context as it is, but I want your opinion – Does this work as the ending of a short story. And if not, why not? Simple, huh?
Here it is:
I nodded. “It didn’t work out with Ryan. Turns out he was a bit controlling.”
“Imagine that,” Jonathan said, leaning into me, his lips a hairbreadth from mine. “Does that mean you can come on a date with me?”
I started to say “of course,” but my lips brushed against his and I forgot everything in the heat of the kiss.
{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
Yep. Works for me. Because I could elaborate it in my head to be the real happy ending that I’d probably want.
I do that too!
Yep, me too! I totally take a HFN ending and make it HEA if that’s how I want it to be. You guys are right, of course, a short story is kinda hard to get the character development and story arc deep enough to make a HEA convincing. At least when I’m writing. I bet Delia can do it!
Ummm…no. That’s why I don’t write romance. Well, one of the reasons anyway.
Sounds like a story I want to read. HFN is always okay with me.
I am actually fine with Happily For Now. Some of my favorite novels end with Happily for Now, and they wouldn’t be right any other way (Agnes and the Hitman, for example). And I’m with Karen– since I read the rest of it, I think it’s a great ending. It’s a short-short story, and the promise of a new beginning is plenty for that kind of thing if you ask me.
If it’s a short story, then Happily for Now works. Because short stories can cover much less territory than a novel. The novel must be Happily Ever After.
I like this.
Okay, I should preface this with the disclaimer that I’m weirdly technical. Ready? I can’t tell. For me, endings are all about beginnings and whether they conclude matters satisfactorily. So whether this works or not, for me, depends entirely on the rest of the story: how much Jonathan knew about Ryan, why she chose Ryan in the first place, how hard Jonathan’s been pursuing her, whether there’s been sexual tension between her and Jonathan the whole time, what was keeping them apart, etc., etc.
How’s that for a non-answer?
But if all other questions were answered satisfactorily, would you be okay with an ending that doesn’t really answer the question: Is this a Happily Ever After or a Happily For Now?
I don’t think HEA vs HFN is as important in a short story. There’s simply not enough room to flesh things out like that. Also, I’m not the person to ask in that respect, since I’m not married to the HEA idea. I can do a tragic ending just as well as any happy one.
And you can knock our damn socks off with your short stories too. I don’t like them, as a rule, unless they are yours. Not a joke. I avoid them when I can, but I’ve read so many good ones, by you, that now they hardly bother me. Yours are tight, clear, and smashingly effective.
Yes. Definitely yes. Especially having read version 1.
For me, abso-freaking-lutely! Because? Then I know you will write what happened next. At some point, no rush. (RUSH!)