This is totally unfair, coming out of context as it is, but I want your opinion – Does this work as the ending of a short story. And if not, why not? Simple, huh?
Here it is:
I nodded. “It didn’t work out with Ryan. Turns out he was a bit controlling.”
“Imagine that,” Jonathan said, leaning into me, his lips a hairbreadth from mine. “Does that mean you can come on a date with me?”
I started to say “of course,” but my lips brushed against his and I forgot everything in the heat of the kiss.