I’ll I can think about today is how tired I am. I could just put my head down on my desk and fall into a deep, dreamless slumber. I just closed my eyes, thinking how lovely it would be to sleep and if someone hadn’t made a noise in the hall outside the office I could have been asleep now. That’s how fast I can fade from consciousness.
I don’t sleep particularly well, so I finally got another appointment with the sleep doctor. It takes ages to get in there. It’s been seven years, so they are treating me like a new patient. Rediculous. They can see what’s happening in my sleep cycles from the chip in my CPAP machine. But no, they want the whole shebang. I get to spend the night in an unfamiliar bed with a camera trained on me. It’s weird. But the worst part is the million wires they hook to me.
The ones on my legs always come off (I kick in my sleep) and then the tech has to wake me up and put them back on. Somehow that seems counter productive. Why bother putting them back on? I only kick them off again. It doesn’t feel like a great way to measure my sleep. It’s like waking a person to give them a sleeping pill.
(Wow. I just dozed off while writing this. That hasn’t happened in a while. And again. It makes it tough to follow a train of thought. Also, I ‘m having pretty mixed up dreams. It seems like they’d be more interesting to write about than sleep.)
I went for a little stroll, so maybe now I’ll be able to stay awake. That would be great because I’d rather not get fired. It’s the holiday season – I’m supposed to be tired, right? But maybe not this tired. Not fall asleep on my feet tired. I have a rare gift.